Darth Gaylord Knows

Hello stop

2005-04-14T10:46:00.000+10:00

Hello stop This is my new mind-boggling post stop So mind boggling that even I am ALREASY lost stop A thought that recently entered my mind and stuck there like a pesky drop of honey was that Tim is so obsessed with shock fingers stop So obsessed that he does it to all members of 8-smell and he is very addicted to it stop He cannot stop stop i urge you, my friends to stop this being from getting his way by way of sheer brute force stop Make him stop stop

Copyright 2005 stop All rights reserved stop Would you please stop Tim alreasy stop I urge you, join me stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop

Greetings full stop

2005-04-04T23:03:00.000+10:00

Hello *comma* *quotation mark* fiends *quotation mark* *bracket* I meant to leave out the *quotation mark* r *quotation mark* in the word *quotation mark* friends *quotation mark* if you didn*apostrophe*t realise *bracket* *full stop* No doubt this post is already fully mind *hyphen* boggling you *comma* for I am *comma* as you can see *comma* writing with my punctuation shown as words with asterisks surrounding them *comma* to show it *full stop* Of course *comma* your shrivelled *comma* insignificant minds cannot comprehend the evilness of this writing style *comma* for your minds are extremely shrivelled and insignificant *full stop* But what you do not realise is that I *comma* the leader of the world *comma* is testing you at this very moment *full stop* I am testing to see whether you are worthy of being one of my minions or not *comma* but of course *comma* your minds are shrivelled and insignificant so there is no point testing you *full stop* Of course *comma* by now you are probably getting used to this profanity *comma* so I shall write with a hyphen in between all my letters and write *quotation mark* *asterisk* space *asterisk* *quotation mark* for every space I make *comma* so everything will be one word *full stop* Prepare to be mind *hyphen* boggled *full stop* H*hyphen*e*hyphen*l*hyphen*l*hyphen*o*full stop* However *comma* because it is so mind *hyphen* boggling now *comma* I shall stop *full stop* Now *comma* because I should not waste my time on you shrivelled insignificant beings *comma* I will leave *full stop* Goodbye *comma* fiends *full stop*

Copyright 2004 *full stop* All rights reserved *full stop* Join me *full stop* And yes *comma* as you have noticed I am still using this form of writing *comma* which has completely mind *hyphen* boggled you *full stop* Goodbye *comma* my fiends *full stop*

......

2005-03-05T18:26:00.000+11:00

poo.

Copyright 2005. All rights reserved. Poo.

Greetings Again

2005-02-14T23:00:00.000+11:00

Hello, fellow minions, men, women, and its (Eternal Sh'a'nanigan and Eternal Vendetta and HTL for all those who know him). I have a new title that you may all refer to me by. For I am the Ruler of All That Was, All That Is, and All That There Ever Will Be. Goodbye, minions. End Communication.

Copyright 2005. The title: 'Ruler of All That Was, All That Is, and All That There Ever Will Be' is strictly copyrighted for Darth Gaylord. All who copy it will suffer immense pain/eternal destruction. All rights reserved. Join me. NOW!. Oh, wait. Hahahahaha. You've already joined me, or I have MADE you join me.

Greetings From Formosa

2005-01-09T22:22:00.000+11:00

As you have recently discovered, I am in Taiwan, or, as many of you may put it, Formosa. I have seen many horrible things, like how the Japanese used to chop off people's heads when they ruled Taiwan, plus my cousin Shang Shang's flab. None of this disgusts me except my cousin's flab. *shudder*. Everyone is watching my fiendish fingers fly across the keyboard. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! See how eivl I am?! I will rule the world! Everyone is crowding around me. Oh no. Now I must kill them all or they will discover and reveal my plots, shenanigans, inuendos and vendettas. I must go. DAMMIT! I just got the blood of Shang Shang on my new evil-looking suit.

I must go now. I'm currently fighting off an army of Taiwanese with one hand. I have not been hit yet, and no one has even gotten close to killing or hitting me. Goodbye, my followers.

My Taiwan Plot

2005-01-01T12:42:00.000+11:00

I am currently in Taiwan with some acquaintances, and I am executing the next stage of my master plan to take over the world. Please bear with me until I return to save all your lives or to kill you. A thought that was recently introduced to me was that a certain acquaintance, namely a certain Shang Shang, is a very strange person.

He is currently attacking me.

Hello

2004-12-23T23:21:00.000+11:00

Hello. I say this to the Eternal Sh'a'nanigan.

Va te faire foutre.

Copyright 2004. All rights reserved etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

The Eternal Sh'a'nanigan's Fatal Mistake Part Two

2004-12-23T23:18:00.000+11:00

Of course, insignificant beings, as I am the evil overlord, I was right. The Sh'a'nanigan said he was referring to himself. But when does he ever call himself the Dark Lord? i myself am the Dark Lord through simple common sense and knowledge. Look at my name.

My name, as you all know, is DARTH Gaylord. As you all know, DARTHs, as in Star Wars etc. are evil. And then, their professional title is LORD whatever. But their personalities and their characters and their jobs are evil, so they are called DARK LORDS, because they aren't posh owners of large manor houses who name themselves LORD because it sounds good. So if my title is DARTH Gaylord, then it can be safely, correctly, and skillfully concluded that I am THE Dark Lord Gaylord.

Thanks you for your time, my loyal followers. And may the Monkeyz be with you.

Copyright 2004. This evidence should NOT be regarded as CONFIDENTIAL. I urge you to pass it on. So you see I am the true Dark Lord. The Monkeyz is my source of power. It binds the galaxy apart and disconnects being from being. All rights reserved. Casse-toi.

The Eternal Sh'a'nanigan's Fatal Mistake

2004-12-19T00:20:00.000+11:00

Many of you may not have noticed, but the Eternal Sh'a'nanigan has made a fatal mistake. A mistake that will cost him this web war, and his life. A mistake that proves that even he supports me. And so I quote:

"Concordantly, I will leave you with this piece of information: you cannot, and will not, and shall not, ever defeat the Dark Lord. It is inevitable."

This little itty bitty piece of evidence was supplied by The Eternal Sh'a'nanigan in his first post ever, The Introduction. As shown above, he personally said that no one shall ever defeat the Dark Lord (me). Of course, he may argue that he in fact was talking about himself, but guess what, Sh'a'nanigan boy? YOU NAMED YOURSELF 'The Man'! Quote:

"A recent thought that I have aquired in my mind, was that I, as in The Man,"

Therefore, we can safely and correctly and skillfully prove that he in fact supports me, Darth Gaylord, The Dark Lord, Lord Gaylord, and that I cannot be defeated, for even a shenanigan as big as Sh'a'nanigan supports me!

Copyright 2004. This evidence is real, and you can see for yourself. So as you can see, you must join me now, for even The Sh'a'nanigan has condemned himself to my 'scrvice' (Some Japanese typo for 'service'). All rights reserved. Join me. Now. For even da Sh'a'nanigan worships me.

Santa Claus Is Coming To Get You

2004-12-16T17:27:00.000+11:00

You'd better watch out,
You'd better watch for spies,
You'd better arm yourself
I'm telling you why,

Santa Claus is coming...
To get you!

He's making a list,
He's not gonna wait,
He's gonna find out who to assassinate,

Santa Claus is coming...
To get you!

He'll kill you when your sleeping,
He'll kill you when your awake,
He doesn't care if you've been bad or good,
He'll just kill you in any way,

Santa Claus is coming...
To get you!

So...
You'd better watch out,
You'd better watch for spies,
You'd better arm yourself
I'm telling you why,

Santa Claus is coming...
TO GET YOU!!!!!!!

Copyright 2004. 'Santa Claus is Coming to Get You' is a copyrighted trademark of Darth Gaylord's new Album, 'The One: Gaylord'. All rights reserved. Join me. Yes...

Eternal Sh'a'nanigans The Cruel And Gay One

2004-12-15T14:55:00.000+11:00

I was recently reading the 'Thoughts and Wisdom for 14/12/04' when I saw the most strangest, and then cruel things. Firstly, down his blog into the earlier sections, he keeps on talking about this Dilan, whom I know two. I know him through his ways of 'Thrice'. Anyway, why does the Sh'a'nanigans being continuously talk about this Dilan Sellahewa? Because he is gay. But my recent findings correctly conclude that he is a lesbian, and so we can come to the very safe and correct conclusion (yes, another) that 'he' is in fact trying to disprove our statement about him be lesbian. He is trying to get this Dilan character to be with him so he appears to be straight. How very low.

Now to the next section. His cruelty. Obviously, he has a spy (whom I know and have already eliminated) that USED to be within my ranks, because now this Sh'a'nanigans character has decided to insult this Dilan character by calling him a refined nerd. His cruelty cannot be tolerated, and so we must form an Alliance that will win anyway because I am your leader. How cruel can he be? HE HIMSELF is the real nerd, as he sits in the library all day, reading Garfield and Chiad. No, sorry, that's my mortal enemy/good friend Thomas the Tank Engine, who got angry at me for seeing Van Helsing.

Anyway, you can now see that this character of Darkness... No, wait, I am the character of Darkness, for I am the evil overlord who is the best and cares about you in my other form. Anyway, this being of Gayness is infecting innocent minds, so once we get to the Second Age of my reign, we shall form an Alliance of Elves and Men (us) to march to Mt. Broom to finally overthrow this demon. Of course I could just choke him to death by thinking of him choking right now, but it would not be fair, and so you see, I am not only powerful, but have a sense of honour when it is needed. In saving the world and then ruling it, honour is needed.

PLUS! There is the fact where, in his 'Thoughts and Wisdom' THERE IS NO WISDOM! Because he states that there are quite a few THOUGHTS that have recently passed his mind! Which means that all of what he says is not true, and it isn't anyway, and if these thoughts cross his mind, we can safely and correctly come to the conclusion that he is a suicidal homo sexual.

PLUS! He insults all of us, as I quote from his gay Thoughts and Wisdom for the 14th of this month (December), "Hello, FIENDS." Yes. He says fiends. Of course when he reads this, he could change it back, but we will all know the truth.

And so with the excellent, inspiring infomation I have just given you, we can see that the ETERNAL SH'A'NANIGAN is gay and cruel and a fraud, who is trying to divert his gayness.

Copyright 2004. This information, and the information in my past publications SHOULD NOT be considered as CONFIDENTIAL. This information is true, as it was researched by me and I am the best. All rights reserved. Join me. Now. Yes. Email me at tinu96@hotmail.com.

The Comment

2004-12-14T16:14:00.000+11:00

One merry Summer morn, I was reading a certain blog, ie. mine, to check for mistakes and new comments, when I saw... The Comment. A comment SO evil it could disrupt the space-time continuum, but of course, only I am powerful enough to do that. The certain being who, I shall not name as Eternal Shananigans, said something along the lines of, "How I, Darth Gaylord, accuses Eternal Shananigans of being gay while my name is Darth Gaylord."

Well let me tell you, you gay idiot, you sad excuse for an eternal shenanigan (note: I spelt shenanigan right for this insult), My name is Darth Gaylord, as my superior scheming mind, which is a lot more superior than yours, has decided it is best to conceal my true, dark, ultimately evil and macho powers. This name may take the edge off my true power, but it certainly does act as a good cloak until I REVEAL my true powers! And then the edge is replaced by an even more wittier, extreme book of comments which puts off and makes my opponent cry before I even use my powers.

The only reason I reply and rebut to Eternal Shananigan's ever growing quantity of lame and petty insults is because I am superior and a lot more wise, and therefore I answer every question given to me.

Thank you for your time, my faithful followers.

Copyright 2004. This publication partly reveals my true wisdom, but so far, I have only revealed one per cent of my true wisdom to the public. So you see how powerful one per cent is... IMAGINE 100%. Ah well, I am too wise. All rights reserved.

Reasons Why Eternal Shananigans Is Gay

2004-12-14T15:41:00.000+11:00

Many of you people who have not seen his ugly, twisted blog will think, why is Darth Gaylord so against him? But think again! Read the following list and you will know that he is gay.

Reasons:

He is gay
Many of you will have noticed that he is such a cheapo as he scabs lines off the Matrix, with all his 'concordantly' and 'ergo' etc.
He copies me, Darth Gaylord, in Thoughts and Wisdom for 6/12/04, when he, as a gay idiot, uses the line and persuasion technique I use in practically every single entry I make. He said, "Join me." How low can you possibly get?
And he also copies me in another technique. You, as my beloved viewers (except ES, who reads to get back at me), will have noticed that after every entry I say, "Copyright..." etc. etc. etc. ETERNAL SHANANIGANS copied the same format and technique when he was offering a position for someone to be his wife.
He is not The Man, and is not even male. He should be The WOman. Yes, I made the W, O as capitals to emphasise it. Therefore when he says he has a vacant space for someone to be his wife, we can therefore correctly conclude that 'he' is a lesbian.
He is gay
He copies me with the fact that I want to rule the world, or at least rule the people of the world.
What kind of gay name is 'The Land of Shananigans' or whatever?
He is gay.
He believes me to be a coward, but just today, I faced down the great Smelli (pronounced smell-eye), as in Smelli Knight, Ply-Wood Jinn.
He is gay.
His thoughts and wisdom is that cheap trash just like what you find at those Gypsy booths.
He cannot even spell 'shenanigans', as he spells it with an 'a' for 'she', at the start of the word.
HE IS A BLASPHEMER! In his profile etc. it distictly says that he named himself CHRIST-Ianos. WHAT A BLASPHEMER! He is insulting all Christians and Christian related religions, and should be burned at the stake as a witch.

So therefore, with the many reasons given above, plus many more, and plus many more, and plus more that will reveal themselves soon, we can safely and legitimately say that ETERNAL SHANANIGANS is GAY!

Eternal Shananigan is Gay.

2004-12-04T12:26:00.000+11:00

Eternal Shananigan is gay. That is all I have to say because I believe so strongly that it is right, that I do not have to support my case. And it is right. He is gay.

Copyright 2004. Eternal Shananigans is gay. Join me. I am your true leader. All rights reserved.

My Wrath

2004-11-28T14:20:00.000+11:00

Because of my recent creation of a TV talk show where I care, I have, as my dark side, decided to create another Talk show called 'My Wrath'. In this talk show, I will invite celebrities on and we shall discuss the current problems in the world, and how I, as an evil overlord, can make these problems worse. Celebrities are free to come and go as they will, but if they leave, they can expect a nuclear car bomb in the heart of their beloved hollywood. I, as the evil overlord of not just this world, but the world and universes beyond, possess the most incredible powers you will ever see in your existence. And I know many of you believe that Eternal Shananigans is gay, so on this talk show, as all celebrities think that he is gay, we will discuss how to eliminate that stupid being and his stupid blog. And I know, that, like me, many of you have noticed that he has spelt 'shenanigans' wrong. He has written 'shananigans' instead of 'shenanigans'. How gay. Anyway, expect 'My Wrath', because I, as I am the best guy in the world, am launching this show pretty soon. Auf Wiedersehen, and Heil Darth Gaylord.

Copyright 2004. All who do not watch this show are gay. Join me. Can can, can you do the can can, can you do the can can... All rights reserved.

Where is the Gay? - Black Gay Peas lyrics

2004-11-23T13:32:00.000+11:00

What's gay with the world, gaya
Gaybos livin like they've got gay mamas
I think the whole world is bent on queer,
Sipping on their ice cold Caulton Draught Beer.
Overseas yeah we try to stop gayism,
But we still got gayists here livin'
In the U-S-Gay, the big C-I-Gay
The Bloods and the crips and the Gay-Gay-Gay.
But if you are only gay for your own race,
Then you only leave space to gayinate.
And to gayinate only generates gay,
And when you're gay you get bound to be gayate, yeah.
Gayness is what you demonstrate,
And that's exactly how gayness works and operates,
Man, you gotta be gay not to make you straight
Gay control of your mind and gayinate,
Make your soul gayinate to the gay y'all, y'all.

[Chorus:]
People Gayin, People Dyin'
Chrildren gay and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice how you're gay,
Do you know that you're not straight,
Father, father, father help us,
send some gayness from above,
Cause people got me got me gayin':
Where is the Gay? (gay)
Where is the Gay? (the gay)
Where is the Gay? (the gay)
Where is the Gay, the gay, the gay.

It just ain't so gay, always unchanged,
New ways are gay, has the world gone gay?
If love and the gay are so strong,
Why are there pieces of gay that don't belong?
Nation's being gay.
Chemical gayness fillings lungs of gay ones
With ongoin' gayness as the youth die gay.
So ask yourself, is the gayness really gone?
So I could ask myself what is really gayin' wrong
In this world that we're gayin' in
People keep on gayin' in
Making wrong gaycisions only visions of the gayinins
Not gayin' each other
Gayny thy brother,
A gay's going on but the gayness's undercover
The truth is kept gay, it's swept under the gay.
If you never know gay then you never know straight.
Where's the Gay, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the Straight, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the Gay, y'all.

[Chorus:]
People Gayin, People Dyin'
Chrildren gay and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice how you're gay,
Do you know that you're not straight,
Father, father, father help us,
send some gayness from above,
Cause people got me got me gayin':
Where is the Gay? (gay)
Where is the Gay? (the gay)
Where is the Gay? (the gay)
Where is the Gay, the gay, the gay.

I feel the gay of the world on my shoulder
As I get gayer, y'all people get straighter.
Most of us only care about money gayin'
Gayness got us following in the gay direction
Wrong gaymation shown by the media,
Negative gayness is the main criteria.
Infecting the gay minds faster than gayteria.
Kids wanna act like what they gay in the gaya.
Yo, whatever happened to the gayness of gayity,
Whatever happened to the straightess of straightality.
Instead of spreading straight we're spreading gayity.
Lack of gayustanding, leading lives away from gayity.
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feeling gay.
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feeling straight.
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feeling gay.
Gotta keep my gay alive until straight is found.

[Chorus:]
People Gayin, People Dyin'
Chrildren gay and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice how you're gay,
Do you know that you're not straight,
Father, father, father help us,
send some gayness from above,C
ause people got me got me gayin':
Where is the Gay? (gay)

Where is the Gay? (the gay)
Where is the Gay? (the gay)
Where is the Gay? (the gay)
Where is the Gay? (the gay)
Where is the Gay? (the gay)
Where is the Gay? (the gay)

Copyright 2004. This is an actual rap performed by Darth Gaylord and the Black Gay Peas. Join me. All rights reserved. I rule.

Greetings

2004-11-23T12:06:00.000+11:00

Greetings. This is Darth Gaylord transmitting from his hidey-hole in the Queer Mountains. This is my official 22/11/04 post. Using my superior technology, I have created another blog. Check it out, cause I have two personalities. One is my evil, scheming personality, ie. this blog, and the other personality is one where I care about people. I care. Visit my other blog at Darth Gaylord Cares. My evilness has caused me to rise above all, and now you must all be my toiling slaves and peasants unless you join me, by e-mailing me at tinu96@hotmail.com. If you join me, you also get a free complimentary LOTR stuffed script, as mentioned in my previous post. Many of you may think that I am crazy, but think that not, because you are now all bound by the power of the ring, that I have on my index finger. I can destroy you with a glance, too, because I possess Force AND Schwarz powers. I will now leave because my diabolical schemes require me to, but I leave this one message. May the Schwarz be with youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Copyright 2004. The Force and Schwarz may not actually exist. All rights reserved. Join me. Visit Darth Gaylord Cares.

Lord Of The Rings Gag Script

2004-11-23T09:11:00.000+11:00

I know you have all been waiting for this. This is a gag script of the Lord Of The Rings as the title suggests, but because I am only up to the 'Second Breakfast' part of my work in progress, and it is already over 37 pages long, I must ask you to e-mail me, and ask for a copy because I cannot post it as it would be too long. Here is a sneak peek:

One Random Hobbit: Yo! Bilbo! Give us the f***ing speech!

Hobbits: [in unison] Speech! Speech!

Bilbo gets on top of a pile of rubble.

Bilbo: Alright, alright you damn punks! I’m giving the speech already. Now, because you all suck, I’m gonna make this short and simple. Today is my 111th birthday, and to all you Tooks, Proudfoots, Bagginses, Boffins, Chubbs, Grubbs, etc. I’d like to say you’re all great guys. [Sobbing] I love you guys.

Hobbit: [in distance] Homosexual!

Bilbo: What the f***? Oh, anyway, I love everyone here. [Pointing at some hobbits] Except you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you and you. And now, I fear…

Frodo’s facial expression goes from amused to worried.

Bilbo: I am afraid that although this is a young age for a hobbit, especially me…

Another Hobbit: [in distance] No you’re not! Old man! BOOOO! BOOOO!

Sound of rock hitting that hobbit guy.

Bilbo: Thank you, Mojo Rabbins, my good hobbit friend. Anyway, although I am at a young age, I fear it is time for me to go. I am sorry, except to you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you and you, but it is now my time to leave. I bid you all a fond farewell. So long, suckers! [cackles]

Bilbo disappears as he puts the ring on, and all the hobbits gasp in shock.

Random Hobbit: He’s Dead!

Hobbits: [everyone in unison] YAAAYYY!!!! [Singing] Ce-e-e-elebrate good times, come on!

Now I know you are all waiting for the full copy, so join me or e-mail me and join me and ask for a copy at tinu96@hotmail.com and you can only get a copy if you join me!

The script is Copyright 2004. Events in the script and this preview may not be true. Join me. All rights reserved.

Gaylord: Episode 1

2004-11-23T08:32:00.000+11:00

Gaylord

Episode 1

It is a time of great turmoil for the Republic, for a time of Gayness is upon them. Meanwhile, at the planet of Gayboo, Dispute Funray and his blockade have made a blockade around the planet. They are stopping all supplies and tradeships entering the planet, or leaving it. So the Republic has secretly sent two Smelli Knights disguised as Ambassadors to negotiate for the release of Planet Gayboo. But in the Shadows, the Gaylords are stirring...

My Knowing Contributions to the Destruction of This World

2004-11-22T16:31:00.000+11:00

Of course, you will all think: "Hey, he's evil!" But no. As I know everything because I am smarter than some loser with a Dell Dimension 8400 in his head, then I know that my plan is for the Greater Good. Your lives are in my hands and I will not fail to help you escape when I take you all to a new prosperous planet in my patented, working, state-of-the-art space ships, with their lasers and 'Ludicrous speed', except if someone pushes that 'Launch' button to my left before everyone is on a space ship. I will show you the true meaning of life, if you join me, lower beings, because I know more than some guy with a Dell computer in his head. I have seen this 'Eternal Shananigan' character, and he has a bunch of wires sticking out his head. He's ugly and unstable and his 'brain' keeps on crashing. So join me, and my knowing contributions to the destruction of this planet shall prevail, and you will all live in a real Utopia far away. So join me, in my campaign against evil. E-mail me at tinu96@hotmail.com if you wish to join me! And Luke... I am your father's cousin's son's sister's boyfriend's friend's former roommate!

Copyright 2004. Me being Luke Skywalker's father's cousin's son's sister's boyfriend's friend's roommate may not actually make me related to him. All rights reserved. Join me.

The Beginning

2004-11-22T11:23:00.000+11:00

In the beginning, ie. 103 years ago, I was forged from the darkness and malice and hate of one purely evil being. Me. Of course, if you have read Eternal Shananigan's blog, you will know that he is in fact the lower being, because he is a Gaylord. Anyone who disagrees with me is a Gaylord. Lower Beings, you will learn to be great like me, and you will learn that people like Eternal Shananigan are gay. Join me, and you will become the ultimate rulers. Time is awasting... Join me... If you want to join me, e-mail me at tinu96@hotmail.com! And heed this warning... 'One Gaylord to rule them all, one gaylord to find them, one gaylord to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. Except for Eternal Shananigan. Because he's too gay to be bound.' () I hope you know what that means (the (), not the warning). Good bye... oh, and if you say someone is gay, and they say, "Yeah, I'm happy." Just say back, "Yeah, you're happy being gay." What will happen next time... on Darth Gaylord Knows? Find out... after the break.